Seeing the Future

20 Sep

This weekend I went to a fantastic wedding.  Two wonderful people, clearly completely crazy about each other, put together a great work of art in their wedding, an expression of their love.

The bride’s father, clearly as creative as his daughter, put together an iMovie presentation that consisted of pictures of the bride and groom as they grew up.  And I found it to be completely heartbreaking.

The movie started with baby pictures, and that’s what got me.  You see, I have those pictures. Not those exact ones, of course, but pictures just like them of my own sons.  Holding the brand new baby, adorable toddler, cute little kid.  But as the movie went on, I saw the bride and groom age before my eyes. And that’s when I came to a horrible realization.

My kids are going to grow up.

Of course, I know this, mentally.  In fact, I sincerely hope for it, since every parent’s greatest fear is that their child will not.  But it was something else entirely to see it happen.  As I watched the babies turn into adults, I saw their interests emerge as they grew; art, theatre, sports figured into the pictures.

I tried to imagine my boys in these pictures.  I know the pictures we’d start with.  Birthdays, Christmases, Halloweens.  But what else?  They will shape this themselves, of course, as they grow.  Perhaps gymnastics meets, wins at Chess club, playing with friends in the pool.  And then girls will start appearing in the pictures, at first maybe none for long, and then one will stick around.  And then someday, we’ll be watching a movie of our own, projected in some hall, with my sons in tuxedos.  One will be next to his bride, the other will be next to his brother.  My husband and I will be secondary in the events.  We’ll come in for pictures, to be told where to stand, and who to pay for what.  But they’ll have their own lives by then, their own friends, their own idea of how things should be.

So all we get is the movie.  A selection of pictures set to music to show everyone the part that we did.

The movie is being made now, of course.  Some of it’s already done.  The boys are writing the screenplay every moment.

And I need to savor my role before I’m written out.

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