Action Popcorn and Athletic Ignorance

27 Oct

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My

I don’t know much about sports happenings, and, ashamed as I am to admit it, I’m not very up on current events*.  If it’s not in my Facebook feed or my husband doesn’t mention it over dinner, I’m pretty unaware of what’s going on.  This can lead to madcap antics.

On Monday, I was listenting to NPR as I was driving home, and they were doing a hard-hitting story about the dilemma Chicagoans faced, having to choose between watching the Presidential Debate or the Bears game.  (I was planning to watch Dancing With the Stars, not knowing that it was going to be a short show to accomodate the debate.  Which I didn’t watch.)  So I knew the Bears were playing the Detroit Lions.

So later, when a friend of mine who lives in Michigan posted a picture of herself in a Detroit shirt, saying she was showing her team spirit, I was all “OOH I KNOW THIS ONE.” And proceded to make some sort of comment about Bears and Lions and football.

Not the logo for a football team (at least as far as I know)

Many of you know where this is going.  I did not, since I did not even know the name of the Detroit baseball team, let alone recognize the logo on her shirt.  And I certainly didn’t know the World Series was going on and who was in it.

So, yeah, I got to look super cool there.  Maybe I should get a newspaper subscription or something.

*Seriously, I just saw the video for “Gangnam Style” for the first time on Monday, and that was only because it was going to be on Dancing With the Stars.  Until my husband explained the whole K-Pop thing to me (which he got from a story on Planet Money, so we’re still racking up the old points here), I actually thought it was some sort of internet parody.

 

 

Not as Small as Little, but Bigger than Teeny

At work we have a company store, and they have a popcorn machine.  Every morning at 9:30 am, they start popping.  My ability to resist the butter smell is directly proportional to the distance my desk is from the store.  For my first few years, it was directly above it, so I was down there, salivating, at 9:29.  Even now, with my desk way on the other end of the buidling, I’m still there most days.

They have three sizes:  a small bag, and two boxes.  The sign on the popcorn machine says “small bag 29c, medium box 79c, and large box 1.29.”  And yet, every time I order a small popcorn, the clerk verifies that I want the small bag.  No problem, they want to be sure they’re giving me what I want.

But then I thought about it–who would look at those three options, ask for “small” and expect the middle option?

Although you will note that for 29 cents, you don’t get just any ordinary popcorn.

Customer:  Small popcorn, please.

Clerk: (handing her a bag of popcorn) Here you go.

Customer:  No, I didn’t want this small, I wanted the bigger small.

Clerk: Medium, then.

Customer:  Whatever, with your fancy terminology.

I’ve actually gotten into the habit of asking for “baby” popcorn, even though that’s just stupid.  Now Starbucks’ system makes a little more sense.

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One Response to “Action Popcorn and Athletic Ignorance”

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  1. Elite Catalogs and Cabinet Porn | Mary Mascari - October 21, 2013

    […] See why I’m watching Food Network instead of ESPN in Action Popcorn and Athletic Ignorance […]

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