Solitaire, Trees, and Toes

1 Dec
Immediately after this was taken, I clicked "New Deal" and played six more times.  I need help.

Immediately after this was taken, I clicked “New Deal” and played six more times. I need help.

Do They Have World Solitaire Tournaments?  I’ll Bet They Do.

I like to play Solitaire on my phone.  I find it’s the perfect thing to keep my focus: just engaging enough to keep me from drifting off but not so engaging that I tune everything else out.  I’ve been playing this game called “Baker’s Game Easy”  (or, as I like to call it, “Baker’s Game Possible,” since I can’t imagine how you could do anything but curse at the screen without the “easy” rules adjustment).

The bad thing is, I’ve played it so much that I’m starting to really get into the strategy of it.  Like I’m giving color commentary in my head*.  I’m going to be coming up with names for moves soon (“ah, ha, the Bumbershoot Gambit.  Fortunately, I know the Goulash Manoeuver”).  Which takes a bit of the fun off, to be honest, because it makes it even clearer that I’m going head to head with a random number generator.

*Although since I’ve been reading The Parasol Protectorate series and watching Downton Abbey,  it’s this sort of upper-class British color commentary.

I Speak For the Trees, But They’re a Pain in the Ass

Over the summer, I decided I wanted another tree in our front yard.  I ordered one from the Arbor Day Foundation, which gives you a good deal and also benefits a good cause.  Two problems with this, though:

  1. They gave me a free tree, which is great and all, but now I  have to figure out where to put it, when I was really only planning to plant one.
  2. The trees arrived this week in the mail.  Now I have to do all the JULIE things to make sure we don’t hit a gas main, call the landscaper and have them come out and plant them, all before the ground freezes, which it may have already done, because it’s DECEMBER.

I may just put a tub of dirt in the garage and stick them in there until spring.

Spending Hundreds of Dollars to Keep Me Warm and Moisturized

My new look, complete with fancy eye makeup and haircut.  And then I went and sat in a dark theatre all night.

My new look, complete with fancy eye makeup and haircut. And then I went and sat in a dark theatre all night.

On Saturday, my mother, sister-in-law, and I went to the Red Door Spa for a “Spa Escape Day.”  At first, I felt a little strange, being pampered by all these (coincidentally all Russian) women.  It felt very north shore conspicuous consumption of me, like “oh my life is so stressful what with the job and the kids and other mostly-imagined first world problems that it can only be solved by paying large sums for cucumber water and a warm neck pillow and having someone scrape gunk off my feet.”  But then I pretended I was in Downton Abbey and it was better.  Except I kept calling the nail techs “Miss O’Brien.”

I did discover, though, that being pampered is actually kind of exhausting.  I had a massage, then lunch, then a pedicure, then a manicure, then a haircut, then a “makeup refresh.”  By the manicure, I’d been sitting still, doing nothing, for several hours and was starting to get antsy.  By the haircut, I was pooped.

Fortunately, the makeup artist was delightful.  I asked her to do a 60’s “doe eye” thing and she was so excited about it that it woke me right up.  And it turned out pretty cute (the haircut turned out to be awesome, too):

Malicious Toe

On Wednesday night, I woke up at 1 am feeling like someone was sticking a spike under my big toenail.  I made an appointment with the podiatrist for Friday morning, but by then it wasn’t too bad (I stuck a bit of cotton under the ingrown nail, and that helped**).  But I went to the doctor anyway, figuring if I didn’t go, it would get worse out of spite.

So the doctor (who’s funny and spazzy like me, so appointments are always an entertaining whirlwind) takes a peek and says, “yep, it’s infected.”  We both figured I’d gotten it at the spa during my pedicure.  So he had to cut off a bit of the toenail.

He numbed me first (which ow), then let me sit for a bit to let the anesthetic take hold.  When he came back, he used the hypodermic to poke a little to see if I was numb.

I was glad for the bright pink tape, which reminded my children to STAY AWAY.  (and don't you think that polish looks black instead of green?)

I was glad for the bright pink tape, which reminded my children to STAY AWAY. (and don’t you think that polish looks black instead of green?)

Him:  (tapping my toe with the end of the hypodermic)  “Do you feel this?”

Me:  (feeling no pokes but a little something maybe further up my foot)  “No…not really.”

Him: “No, or not really?”

Me:  “Ummm”

Then he told me to close my eyes.

Him: “Feel that?”

Me:  “Um, maybe?  I think?”

Him:  “You’re numb.”

I opened my eyes and he showed me that he had, in fact, stuck the needle into my toe, which I absolutely didn’t feel.  So, yeah, ready to go.

So now I’m a little sore, and missing a bit of toenail, but it’s much better than it was or could have been.

**But i had to take the nail polish off that toe, which wasn’t cheap to have applied, and in the process messed up a bit on my thumb, too.  Not to mention that the nail polish was supposed to be dark green, but they put so much on that it looks just black.

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